EXCITEMENT AND EXPLORATION
At the beginning of a relationship, the attraction is so strong that we can’t stand to be apart for even a moment. We feel this mentally, as we yearn for each other, wanting to spend every free moment together. Physically, too, we feel an energizing thrill at every touch, kiss, and gaze. Our bodies gravitate toward each other, craving each other’s presence. This feeling usually lasts for the first weeks or months.
SAFETY AND COMFORT
Over time, especially once we start living together, the attraction remains, though it isn’t as intense as before. We enter a phase of safety and comfort, having already undergone intense exploration and learned so much about each other. This phase is crucial for the future of the relationship. There’s a risk that we may get too comfortable and let our passion fade. While the fire is still burning brightly, we may find ourselves on the couch, just letting things slide and eventually drifting off to sleep. Beware: we may wake up in a cold room, feeling lonely and disconnected with the fire fading.
WHEN THE BEDROOM BECOMES DEAD-ROOM
The bedroom can become a place where we, as the name suggests, merely sleep, turned away from each other. This is the time when she starts getting headaches, and he’s had a rough day at work. And so it goes, excuse after excuse, as we no longer feel like it; the butterflies in the stomach have faded, and a kiss no longer quickens the pulse or stirs the blood. She grows cold, he becomes indifferent. This is a sign we’ve missed the moment to rekindle the fire.
We blame each other for the lack of sex, or we blame the kids, stress, or lack of time. But the truth is, if there were still an attraction between us, we would sneak away into the bathroom, hide from the kids, and do it on the spinning washing machine. After a hard day, he wouldn’t be able to wait to catch her in the hallway, undress her, and make love. She, on a bad day or with a headache, would seek comfort in his arms, soothing her pain with his scent and closeness.
Statistics show that one in seven couples eventually starts to avoid sex after some time. This leads to frustration and can drive one or both partners to seek that spark elsewhere. She may feel lonely, unloved, and rejected, beginning to doubt her attractiveness and body acceptance. He feels frustrated, unable to manage his stress, questions his masculinity, escapes into porn or work, and withdraws.
WHO’S TO BLAME? POLARITY!
Polarity is a universal phenomenon found everywhere in physics, chemistry, mathematics etc. The universe exists thanks to polarity; otherwise, it would fall apart. The same goes for us. Each of us has both a positive and negative charge, masculine and feminine energy, sun and moon, yin and yang. When we are in harmony meaning these two polarities are balanced, everything we do, everything that surrounds us, and the quality of our lives will reflect that inner state of ours. Polarity applies to relationships, too. The attraction between masculine and feminine, the yin and the yang. A strong polarity allows us to keep this magnetic attraction for as long as we desire, preventing boredom and stagnation in our relationship. Wouldn’t you want to feel the same excitement in your relationship as you did in the beginning? It’s possible!
HOW TO MAINTAIN POLARITY AND KEEP DESIRE ALIVE?
Here are some TIPS how to do it:
1. Time spent apart is a strong aphrodisiac.
We are often tempted to merge entirely with our partner, spending every free moment together, sharing the same friends and passions. While this is a beautiful idea, it can lead to burnout and a loss of polarity. We stop being intrigued by each other and run out of things to talk about because we already know everything since we’re always together. Time spent apart is necessary for attraction to return.
To explain briefly, besides our physical bodies, we are also energy. When a couple spends all their time together, these energies fuse. Positives and negatives blend, potentially disrupting polarity. In some cultures, men and women sleep in separate bedrooms—not because they don’t love each other, but to cultivate polarity, give each other space, and keep the fire burning. You can find a compromise in this by occasionally sleeping separately. The idea is to spend some time apart, which may seem like it will drive us away from each other, but will actually bring us closer.
2. Separate passions and hobbies.
Having separate hobbies and passions highlights our individuality. It was this uniqueness that initially attracted us to each other. The fact that we’re different made us appealing to one another. Thus, maintaining individuality within a relationship is crucial. Separate hobbies make a partner more interesting; they have something to share, something that intrigues us, something to teach us. If he wants to go fishing in Norway, let him. If she wants to disappear for a week on a women’s retreat in Bali, give her that space. Nothing fuels the fire of attraction like giving each other freedom.
3. Cultivating Femininity and Masculinity.
How we manage our masculine and feminine energy significantly affects polarity. Both women and men have both energies within them. When they’re balanced, the chances of maintaining attraction between each other are much higher. Nature created us to benefit from this polarity, enabling us to enjoy a harmonious and satisfying relationship. Unfortunately, we live in a time when women are becoming more masculine, overusing masculine energy, and neglecting to nurture their feminine energy. Men, on the other hand, either let go, stepping into feminine energy, or react with exaggerated masculinity to assert dominance over a “masculine woman.” Between a negative and negative charge, or a positive and positive charge, there will never be attraction.
FAKING MASCULINITY, FAKING FEMININITY
When a man and woman meet, she, in order to attract him, willingly embodies softness, submission, flexibility, and allows him to take the lead. He, in turn, is protective, ensuring her safety and comfort. But once they’ve won each other over, she may try to control everything, and he loses space to be the man. You know this scenario, don’t you? A power struggle begins over who will rule the relationship. This doesn’t ignite the fire; it extinguishes it. A man who is strong and balanced seeks gentleness, subtlety, and nurturing qualities in a woman. This man doesn’t want a boss, a dictator, or a masculine woman. Only a weak man will feel comfortable with such a woman. But a woman will never have respect for such a man.
A woman who accepts her femininity seeks a man whose strength she can rely on as she pursues her dreams. She won’t find harmony with a weak man. Consciously or unconsciously she will desire or even look for a man that is centered and able to give her security in which she can let go completely and let her femininity flourish without worrying about her vulnerability
COSMIC MAGNETISM THROUGH TANTRA
Tantra teaches how men and women can uniquely cultivate their masculinity and femininity, thereby contributing to a successful, harmonious relationship and sex life. This is fascinating knowledge with valuable practical and down to earth exercises which I am delighted to be able to transmit to you in my courses.
Moreover, Tantra offers practical tools that can elevate your relationship to a whole new level, transform your sex life, deepen intimacy, strengthen connection, and reignite fire and magnetism.
Authentic Hatha Yoga, a fundamental practice in Tantra, works on the aspects of feminine and masculine energy, enhancing those areas that need support and harmonizing your energy.
Tantra can protect your relationship from stagnation, boredom, and loss of mutual attraction. In a Tantric relationship, there’s no chance of losing polarity. Imagine feeling butterflies in your stomach the same way, even after years together, desiring each other as intensely as at the beginning or even more each day. Wouldn’t life be more beautiful and exciting?
Instead of looking for something better around the corner, why not fight for what you already have? Because what’s around the corner may eventually lead to the same point: the loss of attraction. We find what’s familiar unattractive because we’re often too lazy to nurture it, to fuel the fire. Ironically, the constant search for something newer and more exciting consumes our time and energy, leaving us unsatisfied and alone.
But what if what’s mature and lasting continued to hold the glow of newness and sparked vibrant desire and passion in us?